Ego hidden in the fear of being seen
In the last post, I spoke about how difficult it has become for people to express love openly. Sometimes, we want to say something, care for someone, or simply notice another human being... but something inside us stops moving.
That "something" is not always pride.
Sometimes, it is the ego hiding in a form we never notice.
Most people think ego means showing off, acting superior, or wanting attention. But ego is not always loud. Sometimes it becomes very silent. Sometimes it speaks through sadness.
It says:
"I am not doing anything great."
"I am nothing."
"What difference will I make?"
And slowly, we start believing it.
The Ego of Being Small
But if we observe carefully, this thought itself becomes a protection. Because the moment I feel I am "nothing," I no longer have to take the risk of being seen. I no longer have to express love, care, or vulnerability. I can stay hidden inside my own silence.
For a long time, I carried this silence. I remember my school principal often saying, "God has given you much; be thankful for what you have." She would tell me that we should look at people who do not have food to eat while we have three meals a day, or children who cannot go to school because they have to earn for their families.
I used to get annoyed. Though I was "blessed" with food and school, I was starving for love. I grew up facing direct humiliation when my relatives told me I was adopted and didn't belong to the family (something that only my parents and relatives know even today). What hurt me even more was my parents' silence. They never chose to defend me, and slowly I started feeling that maybe it was true... maybe that was the reason I was never fully loved.
When you are told you don't belong, the "I" makes itself small to survive. You start to believe that since you are "nothing," the words shouldn't hurt. You choose darkness and call it truth.
This is also ego.
Not the ego that shouts...
but the ego that hides.
The mind creates this identity of being small because it feels safer there. If I already believe I am not enough, then rejection hurts less. Expectations hurt less. Failure hurts less.
The Turning Point
Everything slowly changed when I met someone in college who showed me what love really feels like. For the first time, the "I" didn't have to be "great" or "special" to be seen. I just had to be present.
Today, the world around us has made this even worse. We constantly see people achieving something, becoming something, showing something. And instead of simply appreciating them, the mind quietly turns against itself.
It does not say:
"They are doing well."
It says:
"I am doing nothing with my life."
The Theory
This is what we call Social Comparison Theory in psychology. It is the natural habit of looking at others to figure out our own value. But when we only look "up" at people who seem better than us, the ego uses those comparisons to trap us in a room where we feel worthless.
The ego always wants extremes.
Either I should feel special...
or I should feel worthless.
But real awareness exists somewhere in between.
The truth is, we do not have to become "great" to be valuable. We do not have to become extraordinary to notice another human being. Sometimes, a small act of care can save someone who is silently drowning in loneliness - just like that one person in college did for me.
The ego wants importance.
But awareness only wants presence.
So the next time you feel:
"I am not doing anything great..."
Pause for a second and ask yourself:
Is this really the truth?
Or is this just another mask the ego is wearing so I can avoid the risk of being seen?
Because the moment we stop trying to become "great," we finally become free to move, connect, and love without fear.
And maybe that itself is something truly meaningful.
What is next?
The ego loves to hide behind "being small," but it also loves to build a prison using other people's lives. In our digital world, we aren't just comparing ourselves to our neighbors anymore - we are comparing our "Real Self" to everyone else's "Highlight Reel."
In the next post, let's look at how the walls of this prison are built. We'll explore "The Prison of Comparison: Why the 'I' feels like a failure in a world of success."